I am bisexual but to what extent...:
10:47 a.m. 2004-06-05

I watched my first gay porn today and personally I thought that I would hate it but I didn't. It wasn't so bad actually. I must say I enjoyed seeing the guys get it in the ass. It was good I'll admit it.

I have been having daydreams and night ones as well of me getting fucked in the ass with a strap-on by a brunette. I reached behind me to guide her in the pace of the thrusting. She thrusted me quickly and deeply and I orgasmed. I moaned how amazing it felt and she laughed in fact had a big smile on her face and was touching my back sensuously. I begged her to stay in my ass and she did as I enjoyed the crowded feeling in there. I felt very fullfiled and layed on my front while I enjoyed feeling the tip of her strap-on rubbing against my prostate. I enjoyed these feeling as I lay there. I enjoyed these feelings as I fell a sleep with this warm feeling.

However I still prefer seeing women sucking cock then men. Nobody sucks cock like a beautiful girl!

One of my friends the other day asked me if I liked Brad Pitt like thought he was handsome. I think he was doing it in a joking fashion. I felt the warm gaze of my friends as I answered that I'm liberal but I'm not going there. I would never discuss thoses types of things with them even though they are really good friends but still.

But what what was my friend laughing at as he was asking me this question? Upon mulling it over in my head I came to the conclusion that my friends think I'm gay. The fuckers!

I'm not angry, just estonished that they would think that. Some questions should go unanwsered and I will not question them about if they think I'm gay and why they feel this way.

I guess I must puzzle them because I'll say it I'm an attractive guy and I have been single for the longest time. Not even had a female companion or two during this time. Maybe they always thought that I would be the first to hook up with a girl. No half of my friends have girls. The cocky bastards! But I'm happy for them.

It made me laugh earlier, now it makes me sad. Why haven't I been able to connect with anyone? Money is an issue now but when I had jobs I could have been more active if only I hadn't been so shy. I need to find a girl that likes me for my qualities. My best chance would be to find a girl that is interested in some of the things that are most important to me. I need a girl. Cue that P.Diddy song.